By: By Nancy Piccione, for The Catholic Post

In an age of “digital gluttony,” parents and other adults should help young people use technology in a way that frees rather than tethers them, a digital strategist told a group of parents and teachers.

“More than anything, we need to be good role models that technology has a place in life, but it can’t be our life,” said Kate Wicker June 22 at an evening talk titled “Raising Kids in an I-Culture.” It was sponsored by the diocesan Office of Evangelization and Family Life at the Spalding Pastoral Center in Peoria.

Wicker, a blogger, author and mother of four, gave advice, tips and strategies for guiding kids online (see below), but primarily offered encouragement and a Catholic vision for keeping technology in perspective.

Wicker said the slogan from one of Microsoft’s earliest and most memorable advertising campaigns — “Where do you want to go?” — offered the Internet as freedom and possibility, but really was manipulating our sense of reality and selling a product.

“What if some of us answered, ‘Where do I want to go? Nowhere. I’m fine right where I am. I don’t want to go anywhere at all, and I don’t want my children going anyplace, either.'”

TECHNOLOGY ADDICTION
Wicker, who writes frequently about food addictions and issues, proposed that technology addiction is often similar. The reason food addictions can be so hard to manage is because food is necessary to life, as well as an integral part of celebrations. In the same way, technology is becoming essential to living in 21st century America.

Wicker said that she doesn’t belong to the school of thought that believes that “technology is the axis of evil and must be avoided at all costs.” But putting technology in perspective is important.

“Just as we must learn to eat to live, not to live to eat, we can’t banish technology completely from our lives,” said Wicker. We need to stay in touch, but we should be the ones controlling it, not the other way around.

Wicker admitted that technology offers many positives, such as apps that offer Scripture, prayer, and devices that help our productivity and work. And the Internet provides many great resources for forging a new broader community and connect people of similar values in different geographical locations.

But as adults can find it challenging to balance online and real life, children and teens can have even more trouble.

SELF-CENTEREDNESS, SLOTH
Two pitfalls are common: a tendency to “self-centeredness” online, and the pull of sloth.

“St. Therese of Lisieux once said, ‘I ardently desire to be forgotten.’ It seems to be just the opposite with us,” Wicker commented. “Nothing is private anymore. Everything we do seems primed for human recognition and glory.”

Technology can also lead to sloth, or neglecting what we are called to do. Even seeing or doing harmless or even edifying things online can keep us from our real-life relationships and our responsibilities, she said.

“Wasted time cannot be recycled, and it’s very easy to waste time in technology,” said Wicker.

The question and answer period following Wicker’s talk was long and lively, with parents, teachers, and youth ministers offering suggestions for helping children (and adults) navigate one’s online life appropriately. The discussion also included information about phone apps that can be problematic and, without proper privacy, potentially dangerous for tweens and teens. Such apps include Snapchat, AskFM and Kik. Also shared were helpful apps such as Life360, to help parents and children stay connected.

—–

TIPS FOR RAISING CHILDREN IN AN I-CULTURE

During her evening presentation on “Raising Kids in an I-Culture,” Kate Wicker shared several general principles regarding children and the Internet age:

— Your walk is more important than your talk. Parents need to teach children, primarily by example, that technology has a place in life, but can’t be your life.

— Institute “unplugged” days. These are periods of time when no one in the family uses any screen or device, except to answer telephone calls. Work to create an atmosphere of wonder and simplicity, spend time in nature, consider a “technology basket” where teens can leave devices while interacting in real time. “We grow spiritually when we learn to ripen the fruit of detachment,” said Wicker.

— Underestimate children’s sense of responsibility and overestimate technology’s ability to reel your kids in to bad and dangerous things. Consider having no phones, televisions, computers in children’s bedrooms. Monitoring is critical. Resist giving or allowing children to have the latest devices, even if “everyone else” is doing so. Many adults aren’t ready for the permanence and pitfalls of email; kids definitely aren’t ready for it.

— When your child, despite your best efforts, is exposed to bad content or bullying online, have discussions about what’s appropriate. Teach children to be charitable in all things, including their online life.

— Ultimately, you are not in control. God is. When all else fails, what parents really need to do is pray more. “What our world needs more than helicopter parents, or oblivious parents, is that knowledge that we do not have sole custody of our children,” Wicker said. “Our children are loved by God first and belong to God first.”

—–

EDITOR’S NOTES: Earlier in the day, Wicker gave a presentation during the Diocese of Peoria’s Mother-Daughter Tea. See that story here.

The photo at the top of this page is a screen shot from faithandsafety.org, a new resource for adults to help children navigate safely online. The site is sponsored by the Communications Department of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops and the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America. (CNS photo)